Rules are, you must list 5 addictions and pass it to 5 people!
Addiction -- an abnormally strong craving

1. My family...I need to know that they are happy and safe.

2. Colin...he is family but he is extra special...I was born to be a Granny! I get really depressed if I haven't seen him in a while...I really do just ask my husband!

3. Books...I always have at least on with me at all times.

4. Word games....If I am not reading I am working on a crossword, word find, or word twister puzzle.

5. Jesus...I had kind of "drifted away" for a while. I have really felt the need to get back into fellowship. I have been craving to be in and active in church again. We know what church God is leading us to join however we just haven't done it yet. As I said in addiction #3 I always have a book with me....well today I left mine at home. I had a puzzle book with me however as I sat in my car eating lunch I just really wanted to read the bible. I have several at home and I have one in my desk drawer at work but not one in the car. I am going to fix that in the morning so I will have one handy at all times.

1. Two Names You Go By: GRANNY!!!! & Aunt Kril (just 2?? are you kidding me!!!)
2. Things You Are Wearing Right Now: Jeans and comfy shirt
3. Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment: To see Colin & another baby for Josh & Taylor
4. Two people who you look up to: My Mom & Dad
5. Two things you did last night: Went shopping with Jenni and fell asleep early
6. Two things you ate yesterday: Chicken and fries
7. Two people you last talked to: Cheryl & Ethan
8. Two Things you're doing tomorrow: Cooking and going to Granny & Pops
9. Two longest car rides: Arlington to Knoxville Tennesee & Arlington to Lubbock (not really the 2nd longest, it just seemed that way!)
10. Favorite Holidays : Christmas and Easter
11. Favorite Vacations : Port Aransas (Stapleton Family Vacation I-IV) & Branson (for our 25th Anniversary)
12. Last trip: To Marshall to see the kids and C-man
13. Two favorite beverages: Dr Pepper and Orange Soda

My Amazing Mom!!

As you all know my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last month. She had a double mastectomy last Thursday and the preliminary results show that she is now cancer free!! They did send some of the tissue off to have more extensive tests ran (we will have the report in a few days) however the doctor feels strongly that the cancer did not spread outside of the breasts. No chemo or radiation is all tests come back negative!!

I have to tell you that mom handled this with such unbelievable calmness and courage. She has amazed everyone with that way she has handled this diagnosis. So many of her friends have commented on this in the past few days. She says that she knew God would take care of it so why worry...it's there and there is nothing we can do about it, we just got to get it taken care of. She also amazed all the nurses and doctors with her health...she is 73 years old and this is the first surgery she has ever had. She doesn't have to take any medications except for baby aspirin and osteoporosis preventative.

The one downside was that the anesthesia made her very sick. She was in surgery for about 7 hours so she got an extra dose of it....Poor mom was so sick she had to stay in the hospital an extra day. We didn't even talk about food around her and had to make sure that her door stayed closed because any mention or little whiff of food really made her nauceous. Mom & Dads 55th wedding anniversay was Friday...needless to say there was no romantic dinner. The hospital brought them a cake but they didn't get to eat it either. Dad did get her some beautiful roses and she was able to enjoy looking at them.

You know that she has to be hurting but she never complains. We have to really coax her to take pain meds...you know how it is, if that pain ever gets a grip on you it is hard to get rid of so we try to encourage her to take it even if she just hurts "a little bit".

I have learned so much through all of this...but the one thing I had never heard of was that since she had some of her lymph nodes removed from her underarm she should never have her blood pressure taken on her arms, have blood drawn, or get injections in her arms. Doing this could cause her to get lymphedema. From now on they will have to put the blood pressure cuff on her foot or calf, draw blood and give shots anywhere else but her arms. Who knew???

Please pray for mom as she heals and goes through the reconstruction process. She will eventually have to have a day surgery in order to complete the reconstruction (in 2 or 3 months).....my prayer is that she will not get sick when they put her under anesthesia again. Also pray for Dad...he had spent a lot of time at the hospital and I know that his back and legs were really bothering him.

Questions

1. Where is your cell phone? -- purse
2. Where is your significant other? -- hunting
3. Your haircolor? -- reddish brown
4. Your mother? -- has cancer
5. Your father? -- recovering
6. Your favorite thing? -- Colin
7. Your dream last night? -- got lost
8. Your dream/goal? -- comfortable retirement
9. The room you're in? -- Colin/Jeff/Computer room
10. Your hobby? -- reading
11. Your fear? -- rejection
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? -- working
13. Where were you last night? -- home alone again
14. What you're not? -- thin
15. One of your wish-list items? -- lose weight
16. Where you grew up? -- Cool Texas
17. The last thing you did? -- ate lunch
18. What are you wearing? -- sweats
19. Your TV? -- on the cowboys
20. Your pet? -- Buddy/Rio
21. Your computer? -- on..obviously
22. Your mood? -- unsettled
23. Missing someone? -- family
24. Your car? -- paid for!
25. Something you're not wearing? -- rings
26. Favorite store? -- Linens & Things
27. Your summer? -- long
28. Love someone? -- my family
29. Your favorite color? -- green
30. When is the last time you laughed? -- yesterday
31. When is the last time you cried? -- Saturday (a week ago)

Rules:list 6 things I value and 6 things I don't and then pass this award on to 6 people!

6 things I value:

1. My relationship with God
2. Colin
3. My family
4. Honesty
5. Books
6. Integrity

6 things I don't value:
1. Cancer
2. People who "talk the talk" but don't "walk the walk"
3. Coworkers who lie
4. Drunk drivers
5. Leg cramps
6. Beets

I think I have it figured out...

The past few weeks have just been bad...nothing seems to go right. I have never in my life fallen into uncontrollable sobbing like I did this weekend. I couldn't stop....some tears were for serious reasons others were just plain old pity party tears...how crazy is that.

I think I know what is going on and I think I know who's fault it is. You see...there is a certain order to everything. I did not realize I was such a slave to schedule....You see I am out of bed by 4:30am...take a shower, put on my makeup, and dry my hair. This should be completed no later than 5:10am. Feed the dog & cat, pour a cup of coffee, get the paper, and read the paper....Under no circumstances should anyone speak to me until after this time....actually I would prefer that no one even enters the room until the paper has been read. Then I get my lunch together..finish my hair, get dressed and go. I should at least be in my car before the "Sleazy Peak at Hollywood" comes on on KVIL (apprx 6:10). At work certain things are done in a specific order also. On Saturday...I should be at the grocery store between 8:30am & 9:00am..anything later just messes up the whole day.

I assume everyone has a "plan" a "schedule"...I felt like I had messed up some "schedules" this weekend. I felt so bad...sorry everyone...please forgive me.

But I think I know what the problem is...you see the newspaper guy has not been following my schedule the past 2-3 weeks. There are days when the paper does not arrive until after 5:30am....what's up with that....that's just wrong!!!!!!! I am sure that any problems he has couldn't possible be more important than my schedule......The nerve of that man.....So you see it's not my fault that I am an emotional wreck....it's the newspaper delivery guy.

Well..it's good to have finally have figured this out....now I have to go call the Star Telegram and complain....

HERMIT TIME

Did anything good happen this week to anyone?????? I am so glad it is over....will next week be any better though???

Waiting, waiting, waiting for the doctors to get their act together so Mom can have surgery.
The sad news about Shanee. How can such a beautiful young woman be taked from us so suddenly?
The ever present..increasingly stressful job situation.....there's more but I think you get my drift.
Now my weekend plans have fallen through also.

I am going to be a hermit this weekend...I am not a pleasant person to be around lately. Maybe later this weekend I will let you know about my blow up with my coworker....the big "E"...you know the one. He just got on my last nerve today......Maybe he will get me fired too....the big baby!

Hurry up and wait

We have been busy meeting with Mom's doctors. It seems like the more doctors we go to there is always one more we have to see. We all anxious to get this cancer out of there!!!! We met with her Oncologist (Dr. Robyn Young) last Thursday and found out that the cancer on the left side is not "contained" like the one on the right. This means that this cancer does have the ability to spread to other parts of the body therefore when she has surgery they will be removing the sentinal lymph node and doing a biopsy on that. Armed with loads of information Mom had to make the choice of a bilateral mastectomy or the lumpectomy with radiation. We were then referred back to the surgeon for those arrangements.

We met with her surgeon (Dr. Amy Gunter) yesterday. Mom has decided to have the double mastectomy so we discussed the surgery and recovery time. Dr. Gunter will be on vacation the surgery will be at least another week and a half away. As I said we are all anxious to get this horrible thing out of mom's body...the wait is frustrating. But in the mean time....she has to visit another doctor.

We will be meeting with a plastic surgeon in Fort Worth (Dr. Reeves) to discuss the reconstruction procedures sometime in the next week.

I am very happy to say that dad is feeling wonderful after his surgery. He has a "pep in his step" that we haven't seen in a long time. They told Aarilyn that his gall bladder was the worst they have seen and that he must have been in pain from it for a long time. He has not had much back pain since the surgery so maybe that pain he has had for so long was just that darn gall bladder. It is amazing how your body can fool you sometimes!

Update on Mom

Jan & I took Mom to UTSW for an MRI/biopsy (we thought). They did the MRI however there was some type of scheduling mix up and the biopsy (if needed...and it was) had not been scheduled. They did find another suspicious spot however it is in the other breast. We will have to take her back to UTSW on Tuesday and do the tests. They do not know if this spot is cancerous....more tests are needed. So we are on hold for now.

Please keep us in your prayers as we arrange all the appointments....don't forget Aarilyn...she has been the one that has been trying to coordinate all the appointments (which is almost a full time job right now) and keep up with her kids schedules....plus she has been working some split shifts. Her days off are pretty full so she doesn't get a lot of time to sit back and relax.

I can't believe I said that!!!!

"Yeah, well God hasn't been so kind to my family this year".....that comment popped right out of my mouth yesterday when I was talking to a coworker about my Mom. I turned away in tears partly because of what Mom is going to be going through but also because I couldn't believe that I voiced that out loud. Thankfully this conversation was with a fellow christian and not a non-beliver. I haven't wanted to admit it but I guess I am not real happy with the way God is doing things right now. The thing is...God already new this anger was in my heart so who did I think I was fooling? Now that I have voiced it maybe I can start to do something about it. But last night I was kind of shaking my fist and saying OK God let's clear the air right here..right now. I want answers.... and I want them now..... I don't want to wait and see the bigger picture...to understand how this was all part of God's plan that I will some day understand.....answer me now!!!!
Why does Mom have cancer.....Why are you putting Josh & Taylor through this struggle.....Why after so many prayers did precious little Nathan have to die....Why did David have to die......Why did Bob have to die so suddenly.....Why does Dad struggle with pain everyday.....why...why...why....why...why!!!!! I could go on forever but you get my drift here.

After my pity party I decided I had to pray for forgiveness and start counting my blessings...but guess what I was still too angry. Now I am praying that God will help me sort out these feelings......that I will let him work in my heart so I can be the christian that he wants me to be. Whew...this is really too much sadness for me..I like happy...I want happy.....The next post will be happy.....Maybe I will have a funny story about how Jan & I tackled Dallas traffic today!!

Oh Man.....we are getting old!!!

I used to wonder why older folks talked about their aches and pains all the time....well now I know....dang.. something hurts all the time. If it's not me it's Charles. The other day I was on the love seat and Charles was on the couch, we decided to go to bed and as I was holding my back and struggling to get up, I looked over at Charles and he was rubbing his knee and struggling to get up...we both looked at each other and started laughing at ourselves!!

But seriously, as you have read in other family blogs, Charles & Kelvins brother-in-law passed away suddenly last week from a heart attack. I know this should be a wake up call for both of us because we are both so overweight right now. As a matter of fact Charles had gone to the doctor last week and just this week we found out that his cholesteral is way too high...his triglycerides were over 400 (they are supposed to be less that 150)...oops..not good. Also the pain he has had in his shoulder is arthritis, not an injury related problem. The doctor told him to just take over the counter medication for the pain. Poor guy, he is not 50 yet and has arthritis in both ankles, his knee, and now his shoulder. HE STILL WON'T SLOW DOWN THOUGH!!!!

I am full of excuses as to why I can't lose weight. Yes, they are just excuses!! Same way with exercising...although cooler weather would help....uh oh it was cooler this past week...but I had several excuses why I didn't get out and walk.

Well here's to Cheerios, oatmeal, lean meats, and lot's of veggies!!!

RELIEVED!!!

I have to admit that I have been hiding a tiny little secret. Not everything was happiness and joy on my 50th birthday. You see I got the results of my mammogram and surprise, surprise (not really for me) they saw something suspicious.

I knew the drill, I called to schedule a follow up mammogram but they said that I needed to contact my doctor. I call my doctor's office and the nurse said that all I needed to do was schedule a followup. I told her that they told me that I needed to talk to my doctor. She then pulled up the report and said, "Oh I see that they found 1,2, 3, well several suspicious spots and that the overall tissue in that side was different from the last mammogram and that she would need to talk to the doctor. She said that they would probably start with a sonogram and go from there and that she would make an appointment for me right away. They could not get me in until Tuesday morning. That was really not a long time, but it is a very long time when you could be dealing with cancer (you all know how I am about things..always thinking the worst). So what should have been a peaceful and restful 3 day weekend was extremely stressful....you see I had not had a mammogram in 4 years and I thought, wow if this is cancer it could have been growing for a long time!

This morning I went back to the hospital where they did several more views, angles, compressions, and rolls...OUCH!! The nurse told me that she would go develope the films and would be back within 5 minutes with the results....That wound up being 20 minutes and all the time I was thinking that this was not a good sign. She finally came back and said that they were going to need to do the sonogram after all. So down the hall we went...more waiting! The technician that did the sonogram did locate 3 spots. She let me see them as she measured them2 of them had been there for a while (uh-oh) but one was fairly new (it's amazing how they know this...too long of a explanation for me to get into). She said that she would let the radiologist look at the sonogram pics and she would be right back. When the door opened she had the radiologist with her....OH-NO it must be bad news....but I was wrong. She knew that I was very stressed so she brought him in to talk to me about the spots. Long story short was that they are just cysts...all lined up in a row...nothing to worry about at all!

When will I ever learn to turn my worries over to the Lord and let go!!! Why can't I seem to do this!!!

So ladies.....mammograms....every year (not every 4 yrs...do as I say not as I do!!!)... I highly recommend the Mammography Clinic at Arlington Memorial...they are the best!!! Now I am going to take my sore chest to bed...God Bless You....Love you all!!

Birthdays....just a number!

Well I am now the big 50!! On your birthday at work your cube always gets decorated. I had balloons all over my desk and chair and signs all over my desk. One sign just had 50's typed all over it, then there was "Sharla is 50", and everyones favorite.."A sista is 50". Some of my coworkers were concerned that I wouldn't want the world to know that I am 50....bit is doesn't bother me one bit!!!!! Charles really spoiled me, he got up EARLY and fixed breakfast for me, he sent me flowers at work (he even remembered that gerber daisies are my favorite!!), we went out to eat at Red Lobster, and he got this thing for my car that I have been wanting.

When I think about the dreams that I had growing up...I realize that everything that I had ever hoped for has been accomplised. I am happily married....have wonderful children, who have married the perfect partners....and now a grandchild!! Some people may think that those were very shallow dreams...but really that's all I really wanted from life. Now I can sit back, save for retirement, and wait for more grandchildren (this one is really out of my control!...but you know whenever they ready, I am too)!

I had to take a break....I went out to lunch with my friend Alma (my old boss from Countrywide), her birthday is a day after mine. We kind of had a Thelma & Lousie trip. She had a gift certificate to Cantina Laredo so that's where we decided to go. Well I get to her house and she says...do you know where it is? I said...not a clue ( I thought she knew)..She said you drive I will give you directions.....You know how sometimes Mapquest can lead you astray.....well we drove all over north Fort Worth...back tracked a few times....but finally made it. We had a nice visit and laughed a lot.....Yeah for birthday buddies!!

Hello

I don't know why I decided to do this. I am not good at putting things in writing so don't expect too much. This also shows how badly my spelling has gone down hill....but hey I am getting old so I have an excuse.

I found out this week that I will indeed lose my job...exactly when is still to be determined. Five people in our group were given their 30 day layoff notice on Tuesday. It was a sad day for all of us. Now I ask for your prayers for me and my co-workers. I would really like to get out of the banking world...but that is all I have done for the last 25 years or so. I am praying that when the time comes God will have the perfect job waiting for me. Please pray for my coworkers as the majority of them are single and have no other income to fall back on. We are being given a severance of 2 weeks for every year that we have been with the company. I have been there the longest of everyone in the group...only 3 years.....so that doesn't give a lot of time to find another job.