Update on Mom

Jan & I took Mom to UTSW for an MRI/biopsy (we thought). They did the MRI however there was some type of scheduling mix up and the biopsy (if needed...and it was) had not been scheduled. They did find another suspicious spot however it is in the other breast. We will have to take her back to UTSW on Tuesday and do the tests. They do not know if this spot is cancerous....more tests are needed. So we are on hold for now.

Please keep us in your prayers as we arrange all the appointments....don't forget Aarilyn...she has been the one that has been trying to coordinate all the appointments (which is almost a full time job right now) and keep up with her kids schedules....plus she has been working some split shifts. Her days off are pretty full so she doesn't get a lot of time to sit back and relax.

I can't believe I said that!!!!

"Yeah, well God hasn't been so kind to my family this year".....that comment popped right out of my mouth yesterday when I was talking to a coworker about my Mom. I turned away in tears partly because of what Mom is going to be going through but also because I couldn't believe that I voiced that out loud. Thankfully this conversation was with a fellow christian and not a non-beliver. I haven't wanted to admit it but I guess I am not real happy with the way God is doing things right now. The thing is...God already new this anger was in my heart so who did I think I was fooling? Now that I have voiced it maybe I can start to do something about it. But last night I was kind of shaking my fist and saying OK God let's clear the air right here..right now. I want answers.... and I want them now..... I don't want to wait and see the bigger picture...to understand how this was all part of God's plan that I will some day understand.....answer me now!!!!
Why does Mom have cancer.....Why are you putting Josh & Taylor through this struggle.....Why after so many prayers did precious little Nathan have to die....Why did David have to die......Why did Bob have to die so suddenly.....Why does Dad struggle with pain everyday.....why...why...why....why...why!!!!! I could go on forever but you get my drift here.

After my pity party I decided I had to pray for forgiveness and start counting my blessings...but guess what I was still too angry. Now I am praying that God will help me sort out these feelings......that I will let him work in my heart so I can be the christian that he wants me to be. Whew...this is really too much sadness for me..I like happy...I want happy.....The next post will be happy.....Maybe I will have a funny story about how Jan & I tackled Dallas traffic today!!

Oh Man.....we are getting old!!!

I used to wonder why older folks talked about their aches and pains all the time....well now I know....dang.. something hurts all the time. If it's not me it's Charles. The other day I was on the love seat and Charles was on the couch, we decided to go to bed and as I was holding my back and struggling to get up, I looked over at Charles and he was rubbing his knee and struggling to get up...we both looked at each other and started laughing at ourselves!!

But seriously, as you have read in other family blogs, Charles & Kelvins brother-in-law passed away suddenly last week from a heart attack. I know this should be a wake up call for both of us because we are both so overweight right now. As a matter of fact Charles had gone to the doctor last week and just this week we found out that his cholesteral is way too high...his triglycerides were over 400 (they are supposed to be less that 150)...oops..not good. Also the pain he has had in his shoulder is arthritis, not an injury related problem. The doctor told him to just take over the counter medication for the pain. Poor guy, he is not 50 yet and has arthritis in both ankles, his knee, and now his shoulder. HE STILL WON'T SLOW DOWN THOUGH!!!!

I am full of excuses as to why I can't lose weight. Yes, they are just excuses!! Same way with exercising...although cooler weather would help....uh oh it was cooler this past week...but I had several excuses why I didn't get out and walk.

Well here's to Cheerios, oatmeal, lean meats, and lot's of veggies!!!

RELIEVED!!!

I have to admit that I have been hiding a tiny little secret. Not everything was happiness and joy on my 50th birthday. You see I got the results of my mammogram and surprise, surprise (not really for me) they saw something suspicious.

I knew the drill, I called to schedule a follow up mammogram but they said that I needed to contact my doctor. I call my doctor's office and the nurse said that all I needed to do was schedule a followup. I told her that they told me that I needed to talk to my doctor. She then pulled up the report and said, "Oh I see that they found 1,2, 3, well several suspicious spots and that the overall tissue in that side was different from the last mammogram and that she would need to talk to the doctor. She said that they would probably start with a sonogram and go from there and that she would make an appointment for me right away. They could not get me in until Tuesday morning. That was really not a long time, but it is a very long time when you could be dealing with cancer (you all know how I am about things..always thinking the worst). So what should have been a peaceful and restful 3 day weekend was extremely stressful....you see I had not had a mammogram in 4 years and I thought, wow if this is cancer it could have been growing for a long time!

This morning I went back to the hospital where they did several more views, angles, compressions, and rolls...OUCH!! The nurse told me that she would go develope the films and would be back within 5 minutes with the results....That wound up being 20 minutes and all the time I was thinking that this was not a good sign. She finally came back and said that they were going to need to do the sonogram after all. So down the hall we went...more waiting! The technician that did the sonogram did locate 3 spots. She let me see them as she measured them2 of them had been there for a while (uh-oh) but one was fairly new (it's amazing how they know this...too long of a explanation for me to get into). She said that she would let the radiologist look at the sonogram pics and she would be right back. When the door opened she had the radiologist with her....OH-NO it must be bad news....but I was wrong. She knew that I was very stressed so she brought him in to talk to me about the spots. Long story short was that they are just cysts...all lined up in a row...nothing to worry about at all!

When will I ever learn to turn my worries over to the Lord and let go!!! Why can't I seem to do this!!!

So ladies.....mammograms....every year (not every 4 yrs...do as I say not as I do!!!)... I highly recommend the Mammography Clinic at Arlington Memorial...they are the best!!! Now I am going to take my sore chest to bed...God Bless You....Love you all!!